2 legit 2 quit

one thing i love about hip hop that some people can't stand is the tendency for rappers to constantly refer to themselves, their crew, their money, their women, rapping skills, etc. understandably it's a form of megalomania, materialism, misogyny.. but i think one unique thing it does is legitimize the emcee as someone to be heard and remembered. referring to someone or something in the third person establishes it as something that exists in general and can be seen and heard by other people. this is true even if a person refers to himself in the third person. and if he says his name enough times in a catchy enough song, people will remember him and associate him as an emcee.

i don't mean that a rapper who says he's the best rapper alive becomes the best rapper just because he says so. what that claim does though is establish a frame of reference in which this person can be observed. in that way it makes him legit. of course when other emcees drop his name, that makes him even more legit. in academia, a professor is deemed legit when other professors cite their research. but a guy's gotta start somewhere, right?

awhile ago, i was talking to my friend dan about the korean american community in atlanta. in my mind, there's nothing for a korean american to identify with in atlanta, no concrete movement to associate with. and it's not because korean american atliens don't have an identity. i just think they haven't solidified it, they haven't put it in words or a meeting or a movement. that's one reason why the arts are so important in creating an identity for a group of people, so that they can have a point of reference for who they are. and i don't mean a song that explicitly says what it means to be a korean american in atlanta. that would defeat the whole purpose of art, since it's the only thing that can be abstract enough for different people to identify with it. it'd have to have elements that korean americans can uniquely associate with, something that they can be proud of and have fun with.

think about what it means to be a black person in atlanta. you've got rappers name-dropping landmarks in atlanta - peachtree street, magic city, cafe intermezzo, 1tweezy, the velvet room, spelman, clark, morris brown, freaknik, the hawks, the falcons, etc... and it becomes circular. now rappers drop u.g.k., goodie mob, outkast, and now t.i. and jeezy as pioneers of atl hip hop. they've forged an identity from everyday life in atlanta by laying it down in words in a style that's distinctly southern. of course there's more to being black in atlanta, but the arts have definitely helped legitimize atlanta as the black capital of america (i just made that up..)

anyway i'm not sure what the point of all this is. this is pretty boring and all just a distraction from writing my thesis. maybe i should write a rap about crop insurance. i'll spit it for my committee when i defend my thesis.

night time is the right time

i need momentum going into an endeavor to make it work. i have tons of interests but none of them pan out until i get some kind of push. examples of those can be:

• a deadline or requirement (my thesis is a good example)
• someone telling me or encouraging me to do it (... you could probably make me do anything. please don't.)
• new tools (ex: i found a cool old notebook in my closet. so i'm going to make that my bible notebook, since i don't think i can stand going to a church, maybe i can at least draw pictures of bible scenes and make that my religious activity of the week)
• new tools ex 2 - finding the list button on the blog editor thing.

driving home today i realized that i've made some headway on a few interests that i thought were impenetrable. one is agriculture, which is at once ridiculously simple (i mean, anyone can farm) yet a total mystery to most people including me. well i'm on a mission to learn more about agriculture while getting a killer farmer's tan. if you're at davis and you see me on campus, and i'm covered in dirt and sweat, it's probably because i just got off the farm, and i don't live in davis so i can't shower. so please forgive me.

also, tackling a new genre of music is always intimidating. i had always wanted to get into hip hop.. it's a really complex and rich genre and like jazz, it's an american creation. but no matter how in depth you think about it, there's always the side of hip hop that just makes for fun party bangers. it's just totally unique compared to any other kind of music - take curren$y, a rapper from new orleans who just released a CD (which is new for him, since all his other releases were free mix tapes, another unique aspect of hip hop). that he has a dollar sign in his name is one thing, but what other artist can get away with spelling his name in his songs just to clarify that it's not an s, it's a dollar sign.

... i just realized, there's no s in currency. :(

anyway the point is, after years of probing, i finally got into hip hop, and though i don't know much about the older stuff, i'd say that i'm up to date on at least a section of what's going on right now. how did this happen? i have no clue. like most endeavors, it's like i just kept running into a wall, not realizing what progress i've made until i look back. that being said... there are a few goals i've always had that i've made no headway in. like working out. or learning a language. or anything involving relationships. or spelling.

goodnight moon.

edit: i just wiki'd goodnight moon, and i read that it was written in feminine rhyme (when two or more syllables rhyme). emcees who can rap in feminine rhyme are awesome. look for it in songs and it will greatly enhance ur appreciation for how clever and thoughtful even the most crude rappers are.

quick example: lil wayne's feat in outkast's hollywood divorce -

Yea, and I don't have to go to Hollywood

cause Hollywood come through my neighborhood with cameras on

I really think they're stealin from us like a sample song
I really wish one day we'd take it back like Hammer's home
The hurricane come and took my Louisiana home

and all I got in return was a dern country song

This whole country wrong

What would you write if you just put a little ice on

and cut your mic on
but you don't even write songs
but Hollywood make you spit like a python

[this part is really hard to point out with bold cuz of how he talks...]

I meant Cobra, I'm so not sober

I'm high like a Hollywood
coffee or soda
You can call me a roller
Hold up

Your grill's glistenin'

Spent a hundred thousand on mine to feel different - what's the real sense of it?
Uhhh Bling bling, I know
and did you know I'm the creator of the term
I just straightened the perm and let it sit too long, they just makin it burn
Make a movie of our lifestyle
But they earn like a dead body burned on a mantlepiece
That's why I try not to lie on wax like this candle grease
and I be's the little nigga cooler than anti-freeze defrost on your window pane - Lil Wayne
but in Hollywood it's Litt-le Wayne
don't make me not

so that's why I got a pre-nup - I do

blogging is in

i'm going to update this blog now. i don't quite know what to say or write about anymore, and personal blogs mostly suck these days anyway. but looking at all the topical blogs out there, and the endless twittering and stuff like that, there's definitely an absence of interesting and original (that is, not some article that i think is interesting that i'm linking to my blog) thought. so here you go.

unfortunately for you i have not much to say other than to report things about my life. so i guess i'll tell you a moment in my life and my thoughts surrounding it.

- yesterday was picnic day at davis. it's an annual drunk-fest where people come out of hiding and invade the streets of davis. literally hundreds of thousands of people show up. ok maybe 100,000 people. but yeah so there were lots of stuffs going on, and at one point i found myself at a record store to see a friend. a guy was playing an acoustic set and let me tell you... it was pretty hilarious. i don't know if you could have scripted a more typical hipster setting. the store was brimming with pretentiousness and cool, impersonal interaction. the performer was playing some sleep-inducing / slit-your-wrists inspirational tunes off his latest album. in between songs, the guy mentioned liking the new deerhunter album and asked the captive audience what some good albums were so far in 2009 (note: this was confusing because deerhunter is releasing a new EP soon, and their last album was released in 2008). someone mentioned neko case's new offering which really is one of the best new albums this year. and he said, "yeah that's good, a bit poppy but good." wtf?? a bit poppy? and your music is...? jump off a cliff, you pretentious prick. i stepped out at that point and perused some half off used CDs. there were some classic hits - boyz 2 men, paula abdul... i was very close to buying a tim buckley cd.

side note: my best albums of 2009 so far are: neko case, middle cyclone; freeway, month of madness (songs recorded in 2008 but released as one mixtape in 2009); hollyweerd, electricity showroom; animal collective, merriweather post pavillion. i haven't really listened to that much new music actually.

another side note: one good thing about living in brussels was that there wasn't much of a separation between the artsy community and the normal community. there was no super-informed underground crowd. people in general i think were more sophisticated and appreciated the arts. i went to this one show, this american folk singer sam amidon, and as a performer he was being really weird. he was doing pushups and some interpretive dancing and shit. and the people there just looked like regular joes. no tatted up arms and ironic tshirts. and afterwards they said they liked the american folk singer but he was a little weird. that was refreshing because that's exactly what it was... here in the states, his performance would have been cool and artistic and if you didn't get it, that meant you weren't cool and artistic. sometimes you just gotta call it how you see it.

- i think i'm going to go back to church. i'm not sure if i believe everything the way i used to believe when it comes to christian doctrine or how people perceive it. really i don't care about any of that, nor do i care about having the right reasons to come back... maybe i should just make a list of things i don't care about. i wish this blog could support an outline format. oh wait it does. when it comes to religion and church, i don't care about:

1. faith and religion not really making sense, that life after death doesn't really make sense, and that the bible sometimes doesn't make sense. you don't make sense.
2. having the right attitude. in fact i'm almost certain i want to go to church to pick up girls.
3. church being uncool... well no i do care about that. not about what other people think, cuz i don't think that's what makes church uncool. what makes it uncool is the people. but what will you do, i can't force them out.
4. there is a lot of negativity in this list.

- how can i write a blog without mentioning the cavs? i, like every other clevelander, is excited but not too excited... i know we're going to make it to the finals but can we beat the lakers? of course we can, and i'll argue with anyone who thinks otherwise... but in my mind, i just can't imagine what it'll be like to have a championship in cleveland. i just have no idea what that is like and i won't know what i will do. maybe i'll name my firstborn delonte or zydrunas. maybe i'll try to friend the cavs roster on fb. actually what i should do is go to new york and have a reunion with my old high school friends, cuz other htan my brother they're the only other people who are pulling for the cavs.

side note: people from philly talk about how they were the most cursed sports team before the philly's won the world series, and to argue they mentioned how they were the only city with 4 major sports teams (bball, baseball, football and hockey) that didn't win a 'ship in a while. to that i have to say... WHO CARES ABOUT HOCKEY??? seriously that sport is a joke. it's fun to watch live but on tv, it sucks. and who actually follows it in the regular season except for the fans in each city that actually attend games? hockey is a joke and shouldn't be included as a major sport when debating which city has suffered the most hardship. yes, this is a very defensive and immature rant. except when you think about it, cleveland is defined by hardship and to strip us of that mantle - that we experience the most hardship than any other city, embodied by our tough-luck sports teams - - and because of hockey, no less - is to negate us. well... to label us, then negate us.

last thought before i get back to my thesis... i think the rue kids are pretty horrible at relationships. really i think california is the worst thing that could have happened to us in terms of personal and social growth. this place is just too easy and people are too superficial. i'm so glad to have grown up in ohio where people are interested in people.