the ron paul revolution

i got a chance to grab some coffee with a few friends from church. they're a couple who settled in sacramento about the same time i arrived, so we've got that connection. other than that, we don't have much in common, except that the guy's name is chris.

anyway, chris was wearing a ron paul 2008 shirt, so i asked him why he likes ron paul. he responded with a barrage of federal and corporate conspiracies which have tamed the masses for a century. but before i get into that, let me say what i thought about ron paul and his fans before this conversation took place.

What I Thought About Ron Paul And His Fans

1) Ron Paul is a libertarian, a label I loosely apply to myself.
2) He wants to get rid of a lot of "federal" and corporate entities that have been around long before I was born (like the Fed).
3) He loves the constitution, and would apparently get along with Thomas Jefferson if they knew each other.
4) He's against the war in Iraq.
5) Ron Paul will not win the election, thus discouraging me from filling my brain with anything other than the above, except that...
6) Ron Paul Fans are mostly made up of annoying conspiracy theorists and arrogant, too-educated kids who are convinced that ron paul will save the world from the clutches of evil america.

so going into this conversation with my friends, i had a few presuppositions that i didn't feel the need to disclose. after all, i wanted to be fair and open-minded in hearing why someone, given number 5 of what i think, would support ron paul to the point of t-shirt-wearing. some people clearly like ron paul with a passion, and i wanted to know why.

chris started off docile but as the ball got rolling, his true passion came out, and it came in very long paragraphs. so i'll summarize what he said. feel free to skip points that you feel do not apply to yours or anyone's life.

What Chris Said In Response To My Question, "Why do you like Ron Paul?"

1) chris wants to build a house in the woods, but he can't do that because he would have to build it according to government specifications, like having the plumbing installed by a certified plumber and the electricity by a certified electrician. he'd rather do it all himself, but the government doesn't let him.
2) the dollar has devalued itself because of a corporation called the Federal Reserve Bank, which from what i gathered is a monopoly that controls our money and has devalued it severely. he also said something about the gold standard that i didn't quite catch.
3) he doesn't want the US army on other nations' soil.
4) he doesn't support government subsidies of schools because these subsidies contribute to our failing education system [he tied this in with #8, somehow].
5) people helping people is more effective than the government strong-arming people in order to fuel programs and subsidies.
6) 85% of the media is controlled by five corporations, whose vested interests include not reporting honest media.
7) bill clinton was elected because he was backed by the bilderberg group, which i learned tonite to be a conference of 130 influential people who dictate the happenings of the world (a la manchurian candidate... without the brainwashing... or with??!?)
8) americans are very educated but are unaware of the societal under workings that control their meager lives.
9) for all these huge problems, knowledged citizens can fight back by... i don't remember what he said to that point actually.

ok so as you can see, chris didn't really answer my question about why he likes ron paul, but he did help enlighten me with a new set of thoughts about ron paul and his fans, which i will summarize here:

What I Now Think About Ron Paul And His Fans:

1) Ron Paul wants to help Americans move to the woods and build houses without the assistance of plumbers or electricians.
2) He will get rid of taxes, government programs and subsidies in order to allow Americans the joy of helping out one another on their own accord.
3) Ron Paul is to the scheming Bilderberg group what Chuck Norris is to bad guys - an inspirational character that defeats fictional evil.
4) He will release the vice grip of media conglomerates to the hands of the people.
5) Ron Paul will remove the government's evil schemes from the US public school system, finally allowing teachers to arm their students with the know-how to defeat oppressors (who to students are their teachers).
6) He's against the war in Iraq.
7) Ron Paul's fans are even more cynical and angry than I am (chris can build a house in the woods if he wants, but those darned government rules misplace his energy from housing-construction to anger) and this makes me feel good about myself.

and, finally, here's why i think the ron paul revolution is a waste of time and energy.

1) i have to fix the christmas lights outside my house tomorrow, even though i think christmas lights are a pain and i turn them off every night since i can see them from my room. but my mom likes them, so i need to fix them.
2) i have a take-home exam to turn in tomorrow.
3) i got food poisoning this past weekend and i threw up in the middle of the night. i had to grade exams the next day for six hours, and then take a two hour exam.
4) my sister is making holiday cards for people, and they look gr8!
5) i really like music, but i don't think i like micro-house. i've tried hard to like it but after giving it an honest listen, i think i'd prefer more ambient music or more melodic music.
6) at church last week, a woman challenged us to give up our shoes for the homeless.

its a grind

i'm at a cafe called "it's a grind". the more accurate name would be, "it's a mediocre cafe with baristas straight out of the wb and too-loud music and random black kids dancing outside on friday nights." maybe thats what they meant by "grind".

also notable at this cafe is me, about to do homework, except with a green headband on. yes, it's a fashion statement (probably saying, "i am gay or i work at urban outfitters") but it also serves a functional purpose. it keeps my ridiculously long hair out of my eyes, which is crucial in order for me to dominate this math econ homework.

dan just informed me that this is "like the third post about being in a cafe. good job." well to that i would say, the previous sentence was the third - nay - fourth use of quotation marks in this post alone. also, this is the third paragraph. this is the third time i've said third.

but yeah, about the wb-likeness of these girls at this cafe, right now working is a shift leader and a cashier girl. the cashier girl looks just like kristin kruek from smallville, except this girl is more friendly and outgoing, and not really mysterious. the shift is older, and she's like the oldest sister from charmed. i've never seen a full episode, but i imagine they have similar personalities, and they probably look the same. i guess i don't really fit into this wb thing b/c there are no asian males in the wb.

here comes kristin kruek! ok... time to study and look smart. buy!

the tallest man, the broadest shoulders

This is a secondhand account, which was suggested to me by the protagonist of the story. So note - I am not an obsessive homosexual, as some readers suspected.


When I walk around a big city with my friends, I admit that i take stock of their build, athleticism and fighting abilities. So, if you're a girl, your stock is very low, especially if you're hot. Being hot will increase chances of harassment or attention from crazies, something I'd like to avoid if at all possible. So, sorry my hot lady friends, we're going to have to hang out in the suburbs.

If you're a guy, you should be athletic and strong, because I am not. If someone random homeless guy tries to attack us, don't depend on me to do anything except run away (3 varsity track letters.... ok they were for pole vault).

or, you can be dave park.

Here is a picture of dave, who is comparably huge standing next to me.

Ladies, swoon. Men, swoon too. Let me tell you a story about dave, one that highlights his broad shoulders and validates his heroism in the face of danger.

He was on time, a little early even, walking from the subway to Clara Barton High School in the heart of Brooklyn. There, he teaches math, or tries to, amidst confessions of resignation from his disenfranchised students: "yo mista, you can't help people that don't wanna help theyselves." He trudges on, putting up on the board some algebra or geometry. Sometimes he'll come across a youth who, instead of completing the square, would rather "make you bleed duck sauce". He suspends such types. Not all of his students are violently resistant to math, though they do beg the question, "Man, what the F*ck is up wit dis chinese nigga?"

So there's dave's normal work day, which is today, friday, december 7th 2007. He's been teaching at Clara Barton for five months, life-coaching urban students who hurl insults, threats, duck sauce and racial epithets at him. That's what he had looking forward to his day as he walked from the subway to Clara Barton High school when he turned the corner, took a few steps down the street and glanced into the alley.

A few boys engaged in horseplay, he initially thought. Just messing around, like he used to do with kids at the tae kwon do lessons he taught years ago. He took another step towards Clara Barton, but his conscience tugged his gaze towards those boys for a second look. There was a black boy, in his late teens, on top of a younger latino boy, whose head was in the aforementioned boy's hands and was being pounded against the ground. A split-second moment seemed like an eternity, as the latino boy gasped for air, shouted for help and caught, just for a split second, the worried eyes of our hero dave. The black boy's hand fell down to his victim's pockets, searching violently for a cell phone, a wallet.

The defender of the weak, the protector of the poor, dave did not hesitate. Dropping his bag full of failed homework, he took a few powerful strides towards the mugging. the assailant wore a blue puffy jacket, big enough to conceal a knife or a gun. Dave grabbed the jacket, pulling the boy up to his feet, and threw him against the alley wall. "Don't Move!" bellowed our hero, in a rattling baritone that temporarily stunned the mugger. When Dave looked down to help the victim, the black boy took off running.

"Th..Thank you," stammered the latino boy. Latino man, really. He was an 18 year old custodian at the Brooklyn Museum, but that's all the information Dave got before the frightened boy/man ran away. So there he stood, our hero, gathering himself and the events that had just occurred.

Picking up his bag of homework, papers bleeding with red ink and mistakes, dave walked to school, taken aback by his own heroic instincts. The adrenaline began to fade and rational thoughts began to creep in: What if he had a knife? Or a gun? What if he'll remember me and come back, with bigger, stronger goons?

But if he does come back, Dave will be ready. Whether he knows it or not, displays of heroism spring from an inner light that never turns off. Moments like this are not exceptions, but definitions, so we can now see Dave for the hero he is.

Also, after this incident, Dave bought a gun, which he carries everywhere he goes. Yes, he'll be ready.

Ladies, Dave is single. Gentlemen, Dave has no guy friends either. Be his girlfriend, or just his friend, and you're guaranteed a strong, athletic chinese nigga when walking down the unpredictable New York streets.

And call me when you get to the suburbs.


(kidding about dave buying a gun, though i would if i were him.)

i <3 showers

there's freedom in the routine, in being able to maneuver the turns and obstacles, knowing what to expect, what to avoid, when to hide or when to appear. maybe freedom is the wrong word.

i take a shower and after 10, 20, 30 minutes, sometimes i'll forget to shampoo my hair. sometimes i'll shampoo twice because i forgot i'd already done it. i'll step out of the shower and realize i hadn't put on any soap. once, when i started drying off, i heard the pop-pop of shampoo still cleaning my hair - i'd forgotten to rinse it off. i'm not being absent-minded. when i get in the shower, when the water turns on and rushes through the pipes and out the shower head, when it hits the ground like a jar of coins spilled onto the floor, except over and over again in a constant blur, something in my mind turns on that allows me to finally think. i get engrossed in these thoughts, which become as clear as day, or as obscure as night, or as trite as these long long sentences, and so inevitably the utility of the shower becomes the thought and not the shampoo or soap or whatever it is i forget to apply. cuz finally i'm free to think. it's the freedom of knowing that there's nowhere else to be but there, and nothing else to do but stand in heat. not that those things are bad, being places, doing things. but when i step into the shower, all of my expectations are met.

here in this cafe, i could always be doing more. i could be studying more, socializing more, being more perceptive or more introspective or more anything. i could be at home, at school, in bed, in a gym, in the shower, anywhere else but here. the freedom of choice is a bit too much, because i could be doing everything, yet i'm only doing this: typing, listening to music, drinking coffee. i'm doing those three things. i'm not doing everything else.

when someone asks me how i'm doing, i tell them. when someone asks me what i did that day, i tell them. i work well with these kinds of questions, ones that have answers. i work well with schedules that i can bend and shape, that i can maneuver and change. but this kind of freedom, the empty kind, is too much, the freedom to be nowhere at once, compared to the sad finite of here.

madvillian take me home. literally, home, not something more dramatic. the workers here have been staring at me for the past 15 minutes waiting for me to leave. adioz.