tv on the computer

a few months ago, about a week before christmas, i downloaded the pilot episodes of the hit tv series LOST to kill some time. i figured it was worth dropping a few bucks on a show that millions of americans apparently enjoy, a consensus agreed upon by fans also bought LOST episodes from iTunes:

"Bought the pilot episode just to see what video looked like on my brand new ipod... it was one of the best or worst decisions i've ever made.... All told, i've watched the entire 25 episode season in under a week. I'm $50 poorer, my kitchen is filthy, and i'm pretty sure my kids have forgotten what i look like.... this is crack disguised as a tv show."

in other words, LOST sounded exactly like what i was looking for, and it delivered. by the end of the first season, i felt like i made new friends. jack, charlie, hurley, even kate. they were my buddies, and i was with them through thick and thin. when jack freaked out seeing his dad, i freaked out in turn. when something new is revealed to a character, i feel their shock, their pain, their pathos. and by the end of season three, in that pivotal, memorable, heart-breaking season finale, a part of me was laid to rest. my friends were to be saved and life was to resume... both for them and for me. here's a picture of charlie looking very rockstarish.


but some time in between christmas and the season 4 premier (yes, i watched all three seasons of lost in a week), i needed another tv fix. as much as i missed charlie, i needed new friends. something to ease the dull and painful repetition of each meaningless day. and i found it in the form of this:


lol. jkjervy:


the wire. i've heard a lot of hype about this show so i decided to watch the first season. for those of you not in the know, the wire is an HBO series that's been heralded as the best show on TV ever. it's about the drug game in baltimore and the cops that try to stop it. my favorite character is omar, the gay gangster that kills at will, snitches to the police and still manages to stay alive. and also bubbles, the junkie informant who life just hates. the street is dangerous but alive. the police though, they're a machine clogged by guys trying to get to the top.

the wire, being a tv show rooted in reality, got me thinking. how can the drug lords be so efficient and elusive, and the police system be so convoluted? how can we stop the cycle of degeneracy - through political programs, better/more cops, tougher sentencing... or through subtle detective work and grassroots work towards justice?

but the main lesson from the wire is this: stay out of baltimore. as much as i love my new friends omar and bubbles, i wouldn't want to hang out with them in real life. especially not omar. whether that's a race, class or sexual orientation issue, who knows. here he is. hi omar.


i'm excited for season two of the wire and also the next episode of season 4 of lost. i'm also excited that the writer's strike might be over, so LOST will continue. i'm excited because these are my real friends now. omar, bubbles, charlie, jack, sawyer. my only friends.

life

this is my life. from the top left, clockwise: my beloved bear, returning from his stay in my mom's bedroom b/c she was sick. in the background, my green bag and scarf that i use every day. then a pair of 15 pound dumbbells. i don't usually use those but i have been working out more at the gym. in the foreground is a stapler because students don't staple their homework, but fold the edges over as if that's supposed to keep the papers together. next to that is the wrapper of a clif bar i just ate, and a cup of tea i just drank. a calculator because i can't add, then a giant stack of homework i haven't graded, and finally the small, never-growing stack of finished hw.

this isn't life!!

i flew into space

this night i drove through thick fog, passing slow-moving cars on my right. the highway ahead of me was empty, and the road sloped upwards as if cars were meant to launch from the peak, right into space. i could see maybe ten feet of road ahead of me, and the rest was white fog. so i drove up and up and up with no idea how high i was. at some point i must have been midair, whisked up by viscous fog and no gravity, flying over the fecundity of grass fields and walnut groves and strawberries, all the way to my house where my mom and dad were waiting for me.

normally when i drive through fog at night, i scare myself into thinking some zombie boy is standing just ahead in the middle of the street. i play through the situation several times, and usually conclude that the best thing to do is to just keep driving, to pile through anyone standing there and not look back. but sometimes i think that i should stop and get out, that my life is not worth saving at the risk of not saving someone else's, and that the worst thing that could happen is a quick trip to heaven for me. this alternate mindset comes from my cousin, who was so brave walking around at night. i asked him if he got scared, and he said he wasn't afraid because of God. i was ten at the time. he has a four year old now.

skipping school

i was pretty sure my class started at 1:00, but a friend just called asking me where i was sitting. i said here, in my chair at home. but he's already in the lecture hall, waiting for class to start in just a few minutes. ...

this week i've been battling a certain soreness in my chest. the pain seems to increase every day, restricting movement in my arms and shoulders. it's from my stupid workout 5 days ago at fitness 19. like i said, i did every machine once. so between the lateral bench press, the inclined/declined bench press, the fly press, not to mention free weights and dumbbells, i think i broke my chest.

i suppose missing class and not being able two work out frees me up to write on this blog and, more importantly, run errands for my mom. this morning we watched "everyone says i love you", a woody allen movie/musical that features lots of famous people - besides woody allen, goldie hawn, edward norton, natalie portman, julia roberts, billy crudup, drew berrymore, etc.. it's a pretty ridiculous movie, but i think that was the point. love is as ridiculous and nonsensical as a movie that suddenly bursts into song and dance. musicals don't happen in "real life", as depicted by the movies, and to that point this musical is a lot more reflective of our lives as irrational and random occurrences that we run ourselves into. plus it was funny, so me and mom had a good laugh.

but now my mom beckons. she wants me to do some stuff around the house.

i was going to post up a photoventure of all the things my mom made me do. but it was pretty boring so i'll just leave u with a series on soup for my mom. the soup, not the series.

i bought this for my consumption.... my parents somehow eat all my food.

yum... too bad its really cold at this point. but edible still.

the soup side

water and crackers

and lunch!

i need to eat lunch.

Power Music Electric Revival

Every six months for the past two years, I post something about how blogging is dying. Back in the xanga days, I'd try to resurrect some kind of xanga revival amongst me and my friends, but that didn't really amount to much. Yes, it was a ploy to get more comments and eprops, but that was kind of the whole point. Blogging was dying because nobody would comment on my freaking xanga, which would give me less and less incentive to post. But at the same time, I guess my blogging about comments gives my readers less incentive to comment. But. oh well.

Comments as incentive to post more often isn't as simple as inflating my ego. Yes it feels good when someone reads what I wrote, and is compelled (for better or for worse) to comment on it. But really, it's more the tenuous connection between writer and reader, the shout in the dark and the distant response, that makes posting worthwhile. Sure, blogging on its own can be therapeutic or whatever, but the most compelling aspect of blogging is the anonymity behind the posters and commenters. People can hide themselves all day to their friends and family, but they're their most honest when more than a few eyes are watching. When they blog, the illusion is such that they're throwing their two cents into a giant fountain that everyone and anyone can observe. They speak in the dark to nobody in particular, so they can say whatever they want.

Of course that's not really how it works. People who read my blog know who I am. But when I'm writing it, I don't see you and so a big part of me doesn't particularly care that this entry is really boring and stupid. If you were here right now, over my shoulder as I type this, I'd probably switch windows or command-A delete this. But I won't, because I still have more to say. So bear with me.

The flipside of this freedom of posting to nobody is commenting as nobody. And that's where blogging dies, I think. Of course people have to write thought-provoking or funny or compelling entries, but if there's nobody to push back or support or contribute anything more, then there's no ethereal connection, no call and response, no fun at all. And I don't mean to say anything about whoever is reading this. All the comments on my previous post were awesome. I think I just speak generally when I say that blogging is dead to make a point, like when Nas said that hip hop was dead. Maybe blogging's just changed. bloglboglboglbogloblgoblog.

I'm going to try to blog more. I'm going to start a blog revival. It's kind of like this. When something's at it's peak, that means it's going downhill from thereon. It's kind of like the revival of new wave in music.... it came and it's going, and the synth as the new guitar is already on its way out. sigh. Everyone and their mom has a blog. That means blogging is dying. and I'm kind of like Jack Shepherd. i want to fix everything. and i'm kind of excited for january 31. and i am hungry. ok bye.

2008

2008 is finally here, tho i mentally switched to 2008 about a month ago. i know this because i started writing the year as 2008 on documents when i signed stuff... it wasn't that i just made a weird mental error either, it was just that i couldn't remember what year it was. it got to the point where i had to ask people the date, but they wouldn't include the year, so i'd just guess. and i mostly guessed wrong. =/ weird!

anyway, i had a little time to think about my new years resolutions. the most obvious one was to get more connected with God. but to me that doesn't mean getting more involved in church, going ice skating at the park to fellowship, getting plugged into a small group or whatever the usual God-stuff entails. to borrow one of fred's phrases, i want to press into God, like how my feet press into the sand, or how gravity presses down on me. its a matter of pressure and conflict. there's closeness and intimacy, like in quiet and in song. then there's the pressure that breaks molecules and bonds and makes me... better? like a diamond? or smashed, like play-doh. some are smashed, some are broken. God can be quite frightening.

so it's not asking God to be my bff, or just my Lord and Savior or this or that. he is to me the word that made life and gives life meaning, so not just one word or one description or relationship. God is the tree and the rock and the air. just kidding. i'm not into atman. no but really, the word was with God and the word was God. words were spoken to make the world and give it life. the word was made flesh, life that gave life made flesh, words that made life gave life, so isn't that kind of a big deal? but for me that doesn't translate well to ice skating.

anyway, my second resolution is to not be such a selfish bastard. it's easy to think of how things affect me, but i think it's time to stop being such a little b and suck it up. we'll see how long this lasts. but sub-resolutions to this would include being more helpful around the house, being a better friend to the few friends i have here and not being such an isolationist, at home and at church.

my third resolution is a mainstay as far as these things go, and that's to get huge. i just worked out at this gym called fitness 19. i picked this one over the expensive and glamorous gold's gym mostly because i pay just $15 a month, and it's totally ghetto. there's no smoothie bar, no spa, not even a locker room. its just a big room full of heavy weights. today was my first time going and i was pretty lost. i think i did almost every machine once (sometimes literally doing one rep) and i'm pretty beat. good thing i have my nitro-tech protein shakes to help me bulk up. the next six months in cali are like an incubation. no better yet, it's like a cocoon, and when i move out east i will emerge with an extra 30 pounds, which would make my new troublesome nickname obsolete (the skinniest man alive... wtf, thanks "friends").

what else. read and write. i want to read all the russians. russian art is dark and powerful, probably cuz everything bout russia is cold and oppressive, from the weather, the govt, the food, even their backwards language. i'm glad nobody reads this blog, especially not russians with the exception of leo on a longshot. anyway. i'm reading tolstoy now.

sometime in 2008 i want to move to new york and get a cat. and a job. but i don't want to sell my soul in the process.

well. enough of that. here are some pictures from the new year. enjoy!

we played a lot of sahgoo in ny. it's like regular pool but for koreans. consequently, dave and i sucked really bad.


mike and jay are actually good at sahgoo, but we've yet to see maria's skills at the game. i hung out with the above ppl most of my stay.


i went to the met and took pictures. i started taking some video but a security guy let me know it wasn't allowed, after almost tackling me.


i hung out with jennie and friends, and we got cupcakes from magnolia's bakery. note the similarity between jennie and me - not just our glasses, but in how our flat asian noses don't properly hold them in place. anyway, the night was marred by this lady who cut us in line. actually i didn't particularly care, but some of my friends were ready to cut her (like with a knife). btw, i wore this outfit 4 days in a row.

i visited my cousin in jersey, and he has an awesome wife, two crazy kids and one more on the way. lets see if i can't get some video working here...

his kids are adorable and have seemingly endless energy. rachel wouldn't say hi to aunt stephie. sorry staf! and yes i am still extremely awkward around children

i arrived in sactown last night and i had a full day of classes today. as i drove home i saw this crazy sky that i decided to shoot. maybe it was the recent storms that passed through cali, but these clouds were weird and they moved fast.

this is the entrance of the park.


this was the view of the sky at the end of the park. man it was awesome.


this was the sky after i found the 16:9 option on my camera.

this was a tree in the distance that i found odd and lonely, and then more of the sky.

have a happy 2008 everyone!

the ron paul revolution

i got a chance to grab some coffee with a few friends from church. they're a couple who settled in sacramento about the same time i arrived, so we've got that connection. other than that, we don't have much in common, except that the guy's name is chris.

anyway, chris was wearing a ron paul 2008 shirt, so i asked him why he likes ron paul. he responded with a barrage of federal and corporate conspiracies which have tamed the masses for a century. but before i get into that, let me say what i thought about ron paul and his fans before this conversation took place.

What I Thought About Ron Paul And His Fans

1) Ron Paul is a libertarian, a label I loosely apply to myself.
2) He wants to get rid of a lot of "federal" and corporate entities that have been around long before I was born (like the Fed).
3) He loves the constitution, and would apparently get along with Thomas Jefferson if they knew each other.
4) He's against the war in Iraq.
5) Ron Paul will not win the election, thus discouraging me from filling my brain with anything other than the above, except that...
6) Ron Paul Fans are mostly made up of annoying conspiracy theorists and arrogant, too-educated kids who are convinced that ron paul will save the world from the clutches of evil america.

so going into this conversation with my friends, i had a few presuppositions that i didn't feel the need to disclose. after all, i wanted to be fair and open-minded in hearing why someone, given number 5 of what i think, would support ron paul to the point of t-shirt-wearing. some people clearly like ron paul with a passion, and i wanted to know why.

chris started off docile but as the ball got rolling, his true passion came out, and it came in very long paragraphs. so i'll summarize what he said. feel free to skip points that you feel do not apply to yours or anyone's life.

What Chris Said In Response To My Question, "Why do you like Ron Paul?"

1) chris wants to build a house in the woods, but he can't do that because he would have to build it according to government specifications, like having the plumbing installed by a certified plumber and the electricity by a certified electrician. he'd rather do it all himself, but the government doesn't let him.
2) the dollar has devalued itself because of a corporation called the Federal Reserve Bank, which from what i gathered is a monopoly that controls our money and has devalued it severely. he also said something about the gold standard that i didn't quite catch.
3) he doesn't want the US army on other nations' soil.
4) he doesn't support government subsidies of schools because these subsidies contribute to our failing education system [he tied this in with #8, somehow].
5) people helping people is more effective than the government strong-arming people in order to fuel programs and subsidies.
6) 85% of the media is controlled by five corporations, whose vested interests include not reporting honest media.
7) bill clinton was elected because he was backed by the bilderberg group, which i learned tonite to be a conference of 130 influential people who dictate the happenings of the world (a la manchurian candidate... without the brainwashing... or with??!?)
8) americans are very educated but are unaware of the societal under workings that control their meager lives.
9) for all these huge problems, knowledged citizens can fight back by... i don't remember what he said to that point actually.

ok so as you can see, chris didn't really answer my question about why he likes ron paul, but he did help enlighten me with a new set of thoughts about ron paul and his fans, which i will summarize here:

What I Now Think About Ron Paul And His Fans:

1) Ron Paul wants to help Americans move to the woods and build houses without the assistance of plumbers or electricians.
2) He will get rid of taxes, government programs and subsidies in order to allow Americans the joy of helping out one another on their own accord.
3) Ron Paul is to the scheming Bilderberg group what Chuck Norris is to bad guys - an inspirational character that defeats fictional evil.
4) He will release the vice grip of media conglomerates to the hands of the people.
5) Ron Paul will remove the government's evil schemes from the US public school system, finally allowing teachers to arm their students with the know-how to defeat oppressors (who to students are their teachers).
6) He's against the war in Iraq.
7) Ron Paul's fans are even more cynical and angry than I am (chris can build a house in the woods if he wants, but those darned government rules misplace his energy from housing-construction to anger) and this makes me feel good about myself.

and, finally, here's why i think the ron paul revolution is a waste of time and energy.

1) i have to fix the christmas lights outside my house tomorrow, even though i think christmas lights are a pain and i turn them off every night since i can see them from my room. but my mom likes them, so i need to fix them.
2) i have a take-home exam to turn in tomorrow.
3) i got food poisoning this past weekend and i threw up in the middle of the night. i had to grade exams the next day for six hours, and then take a two hour exam.
4) my sister is making holiday cards for people, and they look gr8!
5) i really like music, but i don't think i like micro-house. i've tried hard to like it but after giving it an honest listen, i think i'd prefer more ambient music or more melodic music.
6) at church last week, a woman challenged us to give up our shoes for the homeless.